How To Be A Great Dad AND Have A Great Career?
It’s the question that men like you ask all the time.
Trying not to let everyone down - being an active and engaged father and focusing on delivering at work.
It’s tough when you are pulled in different directions, by competing objectives.
Why Do So Many Successful Men Seek Out Extra Support
When It Comes To Achieving Their Work and Life Goals?
They know that being a Dad can be a struggle, facing the twin pressures of balancing work and life, pulled in different directions between their roles as Fathers, Partners and Breadwinners.
They know that having a trusted someone in your corner is invaluable when you need to make sense of your life. Most of all they know ‘successful’ should feel better than this.
You’re not alone
Surveys tell us that men want to spend time with their children
66 per cent of the GQ State Of Man survey respondents chose “being a present father” as the number one aspect of modern masculinity.
… and are prepared to change jobs to achieve it
11% have refused a new job and 10% have said no to a promotion because of a lack of good work life balanced opportunities.
Society and the workplace is conditioned to treat men as providers (and women as carers).
Men who seek to spend more time with their families are treated with suspicion and are seen as ‘not committed.’ In fact, rather than spending more time with their new families, men end up working harder and longer.
Lack of good work-life balance causes massive amounts of stress and potential relationship breakdown.
The good news is that there is a whole generation of dads who understand that the old model of one parent, commonly the man, being 'all in' for work is looking increasingly old fashioned, even archaic.
Why does flexible working for men matter?
It would be very easy to dismiss this as men finding out what women have known for a long time, it's hard to have it all. At Inspiring Dads we see this as an opportunity… By harnessing the energy and desire of a new generation of dads, we can design a new way of living and working and unlock profound benefits for everyone.
When men are unable to access flexible working, too often it is women who are obliged to take lower paid roles in order to gain the flexibility that they require for family childcare commitments.
This reinforces the gender pay gap that develops long before adults become parents, as assumptions about childcare and parenting responsibilities discriminate against women and trap men in the cycle of men as providers, women as carers.
I was 35 and literally had no idea of what I was going to do next.
I hadn’t worked out my path.
I'd been a management consultant
I was now a new dad - I was the primary carer for our young daughter. I knew I couldn't be a management consultant long term - the work life balance was never going to fit in with our primary family goal of one us 'being there' for our children.
There was no one to talk to about it. Not really. To be honest wrestling with these dilemmas took some of the joy out of becoming a Dad.
I couldn’t wait for my daughter to start nursery, so I didn’t have to look after her for 5 days in a row. So I could work again.
How was I going to be a great dad AND have a great career?
Then I was hit by some traumatic news. I learnt that a university friend had died. His son had suddenly died and overcome with grief and post-traumatic stress he had taken his own life a few days later.
It put everything into context.
Having somewhere to turn is vital. Somewhere to get some support.
Over time I found my coaching niche. Working with dads, helping them navigate the challenges of being a breadwinner and a carer, because when we focus on men's work life balance, it helps men, their families and gender diversity.