The gift of Shared Parental Leave

The gift of Shared Parental Leave

In an industry which has long struggled with female attrition rate, recent research from law.com that shows 44% of partner promotions in the top 30 are women, (up from 12% five years ago), is to be welcomed. Even if that makes a comparatively minor dent in the 20% representation overall.

Originally published in the LAW Absolute Newsletter for Father’s Day 2021

Gender diversity is good for business - according to McKinsey, the most gender-diverse companies are 21% more like to experience above-average profitability.

For 15 years I have had a ringside seat on my wife’s law career, I’ve seen the dynamics and behaviours driven by hourly billing, the ‘eat what you kill’ mentality, the mental health challenges and the relationship tension that manifests itself as a woman posting “congrats, let’s catch up” on their husband’s 2-year LinkedIn anniversary notification.

It hasn’t always been pretty.

Policy and quotas only get you so far, culture change really matters, which was brought home to me when a younger female client of Lisa’s remarked that when they first met, she had assumed that Lisa didn’t have children “because I didn’t think you could be a mum and do this job.”

She and I both recognised how damaging that was for the prospects of all women.

What do dads want?

In their 30th anniversary report “State of Man” GQ magazine’s readers identified ‘Being a present father’ as the number one aspect of modern masculinity.

While dads in my Facebook group describe these desires

• ‘Spend more time with my daughter and be a happier person.’

• ‘To have more time with the kids.’

• ‘Attend more special occasions. Be a more active figure daily in
  their lives.’

Even before the pandemic, research by insurance company Zurich and the UK government-backed think tank 'The Behavioural Insights Team' found that many more men also applied for roles when they offered flexible working options, suggesting the issue is just as important for them as it is for female candidates.

The impact of Covid on parents

The Office for National Statistics found that the first Covid lockdown had led to a 58% increase in childcare undertaken by men but women still did more childcare and women with young children are much more likely to be considering leaving the workplace altogether:

McKinsey reported that in the category of parents of kids under ten, the rate at which women in this group were considering leaving was ten per cent higher than for men.

The Financial Times also reported that this trend is seen at senior levels too:

“Senior-level women were 1.5 times more likely than men to think about downshifting their careers or leaving the workforce because of Covid-19.”

What is Shared Parental Leave (SPL)?

In short, couples can share up to 50 weeks of leave and up to 37 weeks of pay between them. Transferring allowance allows parents to share leave in a way that best suits them.

https://www.gov.uk/shared-parental-leave-and-pay

Why is SPL good for business?

Shared Parental Leave is a mechanism for supporting parents to divide parental leave in ways that work best for them as family - improving well-being and long-term loyalty and performance. Crucially, it is also an opportunity to change the business culture, creating a more diverse workplace.

Initiatives targeted at women create a two-tier system, but when men take extended leave (or seek to work flexibly) it is no longer possible to assume that only women have caring responsibilities, and this broadens the definition of what success and commitment at work looks like.

As Lisa Unwin, writing last month, said:

“The partners explained to me that they’d love to have more women on the team, provided they were able to put in the all-nighters and accept that this is an 80 hour a week job.”

Firms can use SPL to create more diverse workforces and maybe even remove some of the energy sapping, relationship and mental health damaging work structures that persist in the industry.

Photo Credit: Jonnelle Yankovich via Unsplash @jey_photography

Benefits for dads, children, and families.

1)       It increases the early bonding experiences between father and child.

2)      It creates the opportunity to build skills for long term solo parenting which is important for equality at home.

3)      It insulates dads from vulnerabilities in the event of relationship breakdown. How often do you hear the story - 'He can't share custody he doesn't know what he's doing’ ? Harder to say if you have a track record of looking after children on your own.

4)     Present and engaged dads create great behavioural outcomes for children.

5)      Great for dual income couples, skills learnt by dads builds equality at home.

According to a Harvard Business Review report,

“Women with equal partners at home are more successful at work. When people are less concerned with the impact of their job on family responsibilities and able to focus and commit more fully to their work, it’s no surprise that they’re more productive and able to take advantage of growth and advancement opportunities.”

The leading Law firms do enhance their leave.

https://www.linklaters.com/en/about-us/news-and-deals/news/2019/december/new-parental-leave-policy

https://www.legalbusiness.co.uk/blogs/keeping-pace-with-change-ao-becomes-latest-city-firm-to-usher-in-parental-leave-reforms/

https://www.law.com/international-edition/2020/01/22/dechert-latest-to-expand-london-parental-leave-policy/

Actions businesses can take to celebrate Father’s Day.

The pandemic has changed everything, we can longer assume that men don’t have or want caring responsibilities.

·         Review your parental leave provision – putting dads at the heart of policy.

·         Identify male fatherhood role models.

·         Encourage men to take leave and access flexible working.

·         Normalise men taking leave and build a different culture.

There is little point making up record numbers of women to partnership if firm wide culture is still built around long hours and an assumption that men do not want to be present in their families’ lives. It’s lazy and it will cause relationship issues and well-being challenges.

Photo Credit: Larry Crayton via Unplash @ljcrayton

Dads want to spend more with their kids.

It's a fact - working dads want to spend more time with their families...

Some of the things Dads wish Mums knew...

⭐ “That we wish we could have had more time off when our children were 1st born to spend with them rather than having to go back to work so quickly"

⭐ “Despite how much I work it honestly kills me to not be at home spending more time with them, that I wish I was home every night for a traditional supper and to tuck them into bed every single night!”

⭐ “That we hate being made out to be the second parent. We are not. We are both equal”

⭐ “We know this is rough for them, but we’re also struggling with the tremendous changes that are happening in our own way; there is no other time in our lives that we feel as vulnerable, helpless, overlooked, or unappreciated.”

And it's a well being and mental health issue

⭐“Watch out for signs of depression, men suffer with depression, anxiety, mental health issues and PND too.”

Our Mission - inspiring dads to work more flexibly to benefit everyone

Why does male work life balance matter?

Ian Dinwiddy, founder of Inspiring Dads, explains why their mission is so important (600 words)

After 7 years of management consultancy, shortly after his first child was born, Ian became a ‘Stay at Home Dad’ which he successfully mixed with freelance work and national league hockey umpiring.

In 2018 Inspiring Dads Ltd was born.

The seven-year itch then?

Management Consultancy was never going to be a great fit with our primary, family goal of one of us always ‘being there for the children’ (at time of writing - Freya 8 and Struan 5). So, I took the bit of consultancy that I loved, and retrained as a coach before discovering my niche. I realised I wanted to help and support those men whose work-life balance is causing them stress.

Why ‘men’ and why ‘work-life balance’?

Within the coaching industry you’ll find plenty of Life Coaches who specialise in working with female clients and you’ll find executive coaching designed to improve work performance.

What you won’t find is coaching and support to help men be successful at ‘life’. When men become dads, it is as much of an upheaval and an emotional and practical challenge as it is for women.

Haven’t men always been considered the ‘hunter-gatherers’?

Surveys tell us that men want to spend time with their children, but society and the workplace is conditioned to treat men as providers (and women as carers).

Men who seek to spend more time with their families are treated with suspicion and are seen as ‘not committed.’ In fact, rather than spending more time with their new families men end up working harder and longer.

Lack of good work-life balance causes massive amounts of stress and potential relationship breakdown.

Is there positive news?

The good news is that there is a whole generation of dads who understand that the old model of one parent, commonly the man, being 'all in' for work is looking increasingly old fashioned, even archaic.

What do Dads really want?

Simple really – to Be a Great Dad AND Have A Great Career.

There are 3 key elements

👉 They want to be happy and they want their families to be happy.

👉 They want to see more of their families.

👉 They want better quality time when they have it.

Flexible working has a key role to play in facilitating improved work-life balance.

Does flexible working for men matter?

It would be very easy to dismiss this as men finding out what women have known for a long time, it's hard to have it all. At Inspiring Dads we see this as an opportunity… By harnessing the energy and desire of a new generation of dads, we can design a new way of living and working and unlock profound benefits for everyone.

When men are unable to access flexible working, too often it is women who are obliged to take lower paid roles in order to gain the flexibility that they require for family childcare commitments.

This reinforces the gender pay gap that develops long before adults become parents, as assumptions about childcare and parenting responsibilities discriminate against women and trap men in the cycle of men as providers, women as carers.

What are the positives?

When men are supported and inspired to access flexible working

✅ Dads would be happier

✅ Families would be happier

✅ There would be genuine choice as to how to divide childcare responsibilities.

✅ The gender pay gap would reduce.

Your vision for the future?

Men using their power, voice and agency to seek out and achieve flexible working, normalising it for everyone.

It’s time to inspire, support and challenge Dads to make changes for everyone’s benefit.