
HELPING STRESSED DADS BALANCE WORK AND FATHERHOOD
In conversation with Coldplay's Will Champion
The musician who doesn’t read music, the drummer who didn’t play the drums and a calming, pragmatic influence in Coldplay.
Champion of the World
The musician who doesn’t read music, the drummer who didn’t play the drums and a calming, pragmatic influence in Coldplay. In this episode of Lockdown Dads, we discover how a focus on their relationships has been as important as the music, what work life balance means in a band when you have kids and what Will is looking forward to most when lockdown finishes.
Self described (with tongue in cheek) “soft rock dinosaur,” we find out how Will feels about the A Head Full of Dreams documentary - the good, the cringe-worthy and the comforting.
We explore how the pandemic has been for the band, for his family and sadness he feels for artists on the cusp of success - with momentum pulled from under them.
Will talks openly about family, fatherhood and masculinity - the similarities between his role as a dad at home and his role in his second family where fortunately no one is a frustrated frontman!
Luck, personalities, hard work and a focus on relationships and above all else being grateful.
Contents
01:00 Definitely an air of optimism, a bit of light at the end of the tunnel for my kids.
01:50 Not touring with the last album turned out to be almost clairvoyant…
“We've managed to find a few moments to kind of play together and to record together, which has been brilliant. And so we're just sort of planning the next move really.”
02:45 We're lucky because we can afford to wait and we can we can choose the right time to do it for us
“I just feel so sorry for so many people, because momentum is a hard thing to kind of conjure up. And when you have it as a band or an artist or in any walk of life it's really good to try and grab it when you can. For so many people, that opportunity has been ripped away. So I think we're very lucky in this situation that we're in.”
04:00 Ian looking forward to the end of home school and binge watch Marvel films for the first time.
06:20 James - great weather, but an irritating Joe Wicks injury!
08:00 Will’s working dad status - father of three and freelancer
08:56 Olga Fitzroy is like Bruce Wayne. (Read more about her Parental Pay Equality campaign)
“Extraordinary sound engineer and producer by day and a politician and campaigner by night… she's brilliant.”
09:50 Children, touring and balancing family life with work.
“On the most recent tour we did in 2016, the Head Full of Dreams tour, I think the longest I was away from my kids and my wife at any one time, it was about two weeks. it takes a lot of planning and it takes a lot of organization, but ultimately it's what keeps us happy and what keeps us able to commit and to really throw ourselves into the music.”
12:40 Being in a band is like being in a family.
“We realised early on was that in order to make sure that we were going to stay together, for the band to be healthy, we had to concentrate as much on us or the interpersonal relationships as we do on our music.”
Chemistry between band mates is the most prized possession that you have…
15:15 Too busy for boxsets, books and learning new languages
17:00 We talk about the A Head Full of Dreams documentary
“I think it's a lovely thing for people who like our music and like our band… what's amazing is to be able to see that the core, that was there at the beginning is still there. And I think that's the most important thing for me from that film is that I can just see the same people and the same friendship at the core of it.”
20:00 The secret to Coldplay longevity - dynamics, personalities, friendships and a bit of luck.
“I also think that quite often in bands, you get…. more than one person who wants to be at the front and in our band, that's absolutely not the case. We have three people who definitely don't want to be at the front, and one person who's really good at being at the front.”
23:30 Will’s lack of previous drumming experience - could Ian have been in Coldplay?
"I went to audition to get drum lessons and they said no, we can't teach you..."
25:30 It’s been tough for Will’s kids, especially his eldest.
27:30 Making memories and making the best of Lockdown - The Quarantine Bar at 5pm on a Friday.
30:45 Studio time, being productive and Brian Eno’s advice
32:30 Weekly zoom calls and very intense, but very productive 2 week slots of time.
33:15 Multiple masculinities - Will’s role as a dad v his role in the band
“I feel like my role in the band is quite a similar one to my role in my family. which is convenient”
“I suspect it makes for possibly… not the most exciting member of the band, but an important one, nonetheless.”
36:30 Ambition, competition and balance
“It's a lovely feeling to be part of a team that really works.”
38:45 What are we going to do first, when we’re allowed - Will visiting his dad plus
“Just going out for some food, I've had enough of my own cooking. I think I'd love for someone else to make me dinner.”
40:40
This week’s bumper selection of tips
Make a playlist, include The Scientist
“Nobody said it would be easy, but nobody said it would be this hard”
and some The Blue Nile plus watch out for James’ appearance on Steve Wright’s Golden Oldies on the 8th March.
For International Women’s Day read Annie Lennox’s piece on Feminism and dialogue with men
It’s Energy Switch time
Challenge yourself musically
Previously Will learnt Blackbird and during this lockdown has been learning to play Nimrod by Edward Elgar on the piano
Listen to podcasts
“I've been inspired by my wife who's been voraciously devouring podcasts, and I've never really got into podcasts until recently. And there were so many brilliant things that you can listen to now, things that are extremely niche and some that are very broad. So listen to more podcasts.”
———————————————
More reading and links
Annie Lennox (subscribe to read)
James’ review of previous guest Martin Robinson’s New Book
RIP George and Paul x
Special request
If you’ve enjoyed this content please consider making a donation to 2 Wish Upon A Star, a charity very close to the hearts of both Will and I.
Founded by Rhian Mannings, OBE and Pride of Britain award winner, in memory of her one year old son and husband who died within a week of each other in 2012.
2 Wish Upon A Star provides immediate and ongoing bereavement support for families, individuals and professionals affected by the sudden and traumatic death of a child or young adult aged 25 or under.
Thank you
Ian
How to have enough money for the things that really matter.
Reduce your stress and achieve your family goals by aligning your finances with your priorities
You've got dreams and aspirations...
and a shared purpose with your partner, but when it comes time to take action and put it all together, these dreams had better be good ones!
They'll need to be robust and aligned with what you truly want because it's likely they require some sort of investment.
Most of us don't have the financial freedom to do everything. There are trade offs to be made.
Imagine you want to take a step away from the career path you are on?
That's not going to be possible if haven’t aligned your family finances with your family priorities. You need to make sure you are spending on or investing in, the things that allow you to truly live the life you and your family want.
new career, New Kitchen or a trip to disney in Florida - these things take planning.
7 Steps to Financial Clarity
1. Start with a list of your family priorities / objectives.
2. Work out the financial impact for each priority.
3. How much money will they need and when?
4. How will you fund these priorities?
Save now for future spending?
Use savings now?
Borrow and repay later. At what cost?
5. Review your current finances
Each month - what’s coming in and what’s going out
7. Talk about your finances with your partner
Are you Spenders, Savers, Risk takers, Security seekers? Who controls how money is used?
7. Design your future budget
Factor in your family priorities, what needs to change to allow those priorities to be achieved
By the end of the process
You’ll have reduced your stress by understanding where your money goes.
You’ll understand how much money you need to achieve the priorities.
You’ll know what changes you need to make to make it happen.
Need some help making it happen? Book a free 20 minute call with me to discuss your options.
Not sure if you're on the same page as your partner?
Do you wonder if your family think it is all worth it?
Are you concerned that you and your partner aren’t on the same page?
Do you wonder if your family think it is all worth it?
These are natural feelings if you haven’t made certain you know, talked things through and written down what you both want to achieve.
You used to talk about the future, but life got super busy and now you are worn out and drained.
It’s tough to find the time, let alone the energy to properly talk about what you want to achieve as individuals and as a family.
And I know you feel the pressure of needing to provide and to be there when it matters and to be a great role model.
and that's before you consider what you really really what...
Sometimes it feels like you are just surviving.
This is what you need to do...
1) Be honest about your life.
How satisfied are you with each of the important aspects of your life?
Health, relationships, work, environment etc
2) Make a list of all the things you want to Be, Do and Have.
How does achieving these make you feel?
3) Narrow it down to the 5 things that are really important to you.
4) Talk to your partner - ask them to repeat the process.
5) Spend some quality time with your partner.
What things are both your lists?
7) Decide on your top 5 priorities.
These priorities will become your shared family priorities.
It's useful if there is at least one each personal to you and one personal to your partner, but the number isn't as important as ensuring that you understand and respect each others priorities.
This list is about creating a shared focus and this process will build a deeper a relationship, improving communication, and know you'll feel happier being certain of your direction.
Once you have this list of family priorities, built on sound foundations and starting on the same page, you'll be ready to take action!
Need some support to get this done?
Talk to someone independent?
Click on this button below and schedule 20 mins in my diary:
Ian Dinwiddy, Founder
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