We're all back?

We’re all back?

I'm back,

We're all 'back'?

Back in the office?
Back to school?
Back to the coffee shop - which is where I'm typing this - hello Bromley...
Back to coordinating kids activities, car shares and trying to maintain some sanity.

and most importantly trying to be kind to ourselves, "good enough is good enough".

Our daughter Freya is only 4 days into secondary school and I know it will get easier, but thinking about the new tech, calendars, and working out how to be in 2 places at once is draining.

Of course the summer holidays went too quickly in a whirlwind of 'staycation' breaks, some child care and trying not to neglect the kids while keeping on top of the Inspiring Dads mission.

Two particular highlights for me - watching our daughter dance with the local English Youth Ballet performance of Swan Lake and taking our son to Crystal Palace's first full capacity Premier League home match since March 2020.

I don't think I'll ever underestimate the sheer joy and connection that comes from in-person, mass events, long may they continue to be safe enough.

Here are some work highlights I wanted to share since I last wrote.

• Finalising the first licensing of The New Dads Accelerator course content.

• Co-presenting at Aberdeen Energy Industry's Axis Network webinar - "Why Men’s Work Life Balance Matters to Everyone" (and smashing industry standard engagement and attendance percentages)

• Running a two hour live in person (!) workshop for management consultants

  
  How to use ‘DISC’ personality preferences to fast track your influencing and collaboration skills
  
  

• Plus planning events for a eclectic mix of clients ranging from Ralph Lauren to Credit Suisse and NHS commissioning groups in in Wiltshire and Essex

Busy is good right?

--------

The Lockdown Dads Podcast

If you are back on the commute, now is a perfect time to explore the 46 Lockdown Dads podcast episodes James Millar and I recorded over the last 15 months.

You can listen or watch a variety of fascinating guests including

CBeebies presenter - Nigel Clarke (Ep32)
Scottish Conservative Party leader - Douglas Ross (Ep7)
Coldplay drummer - Will Champion (Ep35)

and for political balance...

former Labour MP James Frith (Ep4)

All the links to listen or watch here:

https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/lockdown-dads

Photo Credit Jen Theodore via Unsplash @jentheodore

In conversation with Coldplay's Will Champion

Champion of the World

The musician who doesn’t read music, the drummer who didn’t play the drums and a calming, pragmatic influence in Coldplay. In this episode of Lockdown Dads, we discover how a focus on their relationships has been as important as the music, what work life balance means in a band when you have kids and what Will is looking forward to most when lockdown finishes.

Self described (with tongue in cheek) “soft rock dinosaur,” we find out how Will feels about the A Head Full of Dreams documentary - the good, the cringe-worthy and the comforting.

We explore how the pandemic has been for the band, for his family and sadness he feels for artists on the cusp of success - with momentum pulled from under them.

Will talks openly about family, fatherhood and masculinity - the similarities between his role as a dad at home and his role in his second family where fortunately no one is a frustrated frontman!

Luck, personalities, hard work and a focus on relationships and above all else being grateful.

Contents

01:00 Definitely an air of optimism, a bit of light at the end of the tunnel for my kids.

01:50 Not touring with the last album turned out to be almost clairvoyant…

“We've managed to find a few moments to kind of play together and to record together, which has been brilliant. And so we're just sort of planning the next move really.”

02:45 We're lucky because we can afford to wait and we can we can choose the right time to do it for us

“I just feel so sorry for so many people, because momentum is a hard thing to kind of conjure up. And when you have it as a band or an artist or in any walk of life it's really good to try and grab it when you can. For so many people, that opportunity has been ripped away. So I think we're very lucky in this situation that we're in.”

04:00 Ian looking forward to the end of home school and binge watch Marvel films for the first time.

06:20 James - great weather, but an irritating Joe Wicks injury!

08:00 Will’s working dad status - father of three and freelancer

08:56 Olga Fitzroy is like Bruce Wayne. (Read more about her Parental Pay Equality campaign)

“Extraordinary sound engineer and producer by day and a politician and campaigner by night… she's brilliant.”

09:50 Children, touring and balancing family life with work.

“On the most recent tour we did in 2016, the Head Full of Dreams tour, I think the longest I was away from my kids and my wife at any one time, it was about two weeks. it takes a lot of planning and it takes a lot of organization, but ultimately it's what keeps us happy and what keeps us able to commit and to really throw ourselves into the music.”

12:40 Being in a band is like being in a family.

“We realised early on was that in order to make sure that we were going to stay together, for the band to be healthy, we had to concentrate as much on us or the interpersonal relationships as we do on our music.”

Chemistry between band mates is the most prized possession that you have…

15:15 Too busy for boxsets, books and learning new languages

17:00 We talk about the A Head Full of Dreams documentary

“I think it's a lovely thing for people who like our music and like our band… what's amazing is to be able to see that the core, that was there at the beginning is still there. And I think that's the most important thing for me from that film is that I can just see the same people and the same friendship at the core of it.”

20:00 The secret to Coldplay longevity - dynamics, personalities, friendships and a bit of luck.

“I also think that quite often in bands, you get…. more than one person who wants to be at the front and in our band, that's absolutely not the case. We have three people who definitely don't want to be at the front, and one person who's really good at being at the front.”

23:30 Will’s lack of previous drumming experience - could Ian have been in Coldplay?

"I went to audition to get drum lessons and they said no, we can't teach you..."

25:30 It’s been tough for Will’s kids, especially his eldest.

27:30 Making memories and making the best of Lockdown - The Quarantine Bar at 5pm on a Friday.

30:45 Studio time, being productive and Brian Eno’s advice

32:30 Weekly zoom calls and very intense, but very productive 2 week slots of time.

33:15 Multiple masculinities - Will’s role as a dad v his role in the band

“I feel like my role in the band is quite a similar one to my role in my family. which is convenient”

“I suspect it makes for possibly… not the most exciting member of the band, but an important one, nonetheless.”

36:30 Ambition, competition and balance

“It's a lovely feeling to be part of a team that really works.”

38:45 What are we going to do first, when we’re allowed - Will visiting his dad plus

“Just going out for some food, I've had enough of my own cooking. I think I'd love for someone else to make me dinner.”

40:40

This week’s bumper selection of tips

• Make a playlist, include The Scientist

“Nobody said it would be easy, but nobody said it would be this hard”

and some The Blue Nile plus watch out for James’ appearance on Steve Wright’s Golden Oldies on the 8th March.

• For International Women’s Day read Annie Lennox’s piece on Feminism and dialogue with men

• It’s Energy Switch time

• Challenge yourself musically

Previously Will learnt Blackbird and during this lockdown has been learning to play Nimrod by Edward Elgar on the piano

• Listen to podcasts

“I've been inspired by my wife who's been voraciously devouring podcasts, and I've never really got into podcasts until recently. And there were so many brilliant things that you can listen to now, things that are extremely niche and some that are very broad. So listen to more podcasts.”

———————————————

More reading and links

Annie Lennox (subscribe to read)

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/only-if-the-women-s-movement-opens-a-dialogue-with-men-can-we-end-misogyny-c8zxp0pcj

James’ review of previous guest Martin Robinson’s New Book

https://www.workingdads.co.uk/martin-robinson-masculinity-book-you-are-not-the-man-you-are-supposed-to-be/

RIP George and Paul x

Special request

If you’ve enjoyed this content please consider making a donation to 2 Wish Upon A Star, a charity very close to the hearts of both Will and I.

Founded by Rhian Mannings, OBE and Pride of Britain award winner, in memory of her one year old son and husband who died within a week of each other in 2012.

2 Wish Upon A Star provides immediate and ongoing bereavement support for families, individuals and professionals affected by the sudden and traumatic death of a child or young adult aged 25 or under.

Thank you

Ian