How to build meaningful relationships with your partner and your children

How to build meaningful relationships with your partner and your children.

Are you concerned that you and your partner aren’t on the same page?

Do you wonder if your family think it is “all” worth it?

Written for the Dadvengers Community

It’s easy to get complacent, to think your family life is running smoothly. Then you turn around and discover too late that the solid foundations you thought you were building, aren’t as solid as you had hoped or expected.

Which is why it’s so important to build meaningful relationships that support your family life.

The good news is, it’s never too late to reflect on what your version of “Christmas Future” looks like and make changes. This is especially true if the answer to either of those questions is Yes.

Getting it right matters as friend of mine, let’s call him Toby, illustrates evocatively about his relationship breakdown:

“If there’s one thing I wish we’d done better, it would have been to have those really honest discussions – rather than the more off-hand comments and observations – about the work life balance for both of us, including as a couple and as parents.  

But hey – we live and learn, eh?!”

Head over to the Dadvengers website to read the rest of the piece, including these topics:

• Meaningful relationships require open and honest conversations.  

• Meaningful relationships need shared purpose.

• Meaningful relationships require equality at home.

• How to build meaningful relationships with your children

Plus you can watch Nigel and I on the Dadvengers’ “Dad Chats Live” over on Instagram. We talked about the content, shared stories and answered Q&A with the viewers.

Our conversation starts at 9min and you can catch up and watch here:

Photo Credit @nate_dumlao via Unsplash

The Ghost of Christmas Future

The Ghost of Christmas Future

You know the Christmas Carol story - three ghosts take Ebenezer Scrooge through Christmases past, present and future (it’s actually called The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come), Scrooge gets a glimpse of what it his future might look like, and faced with that sadness and despairs he promises to change his ways.

I’m pretty sure no-one reading this will be living their lives like Mr Scrooge, but if you could see into the future how would it look for you?

The Times published a piece called

“Why aren’t successful, middle-aged fathers happy?”

“Looking for more from life? Join the queue. Middle-aged fathers open up about why “success” is a poisoned chalice”

If you put aside any concern as to whether well paid professional men at the pinnacle of their working lives deserve our sympathy and support, then there is a sad tale within the article.

❌ Stories of being financially trapped by their lifestyle.

❌ Stories of becoming disconnected from their families.

❌ Stories of long term illness.

A real sense that ‘successful’ should feel better than this.

Also a realisation that planning ahead and being honest about what they really want, working out how to be happy, would, in hindsight, have been more useful than climbing the career ladder and taking on financial commitments.

“we should have spent more time working out what would have made us all happier.”

“I never stopped to consider that I would effectively be an absentee dad,” says yet another City worker commuting from the nether regions of Sussex. “The priorities were, I suppose, old-fashioned — to have their mother there and to have me providing. Now I think we should have spent more time working out what would have made us all happier.”

“I hate my job… but it’s too late to change now”

“I hate my job, I couldn’t give a toss if I’m a success or not, but it’s too late to change now,” says a 44-year-old pharmaceutical executive with a familiar sense of abject resignation.

“I’ve just renegotiated our mortgage. Back to 25 years. The building society pointed out I’d be 69 when it finishes, but I promised them I’d still be working.”

dads are seeking out help

"I've been following with interest your Inspiring Dads work. It has been niggling me for a long time now, and I find myself working away from home in a sadly average job and then feeling like a bit of a spare part at the weekend. I am monumentally unable to discuss any of this with anyone and, quite simply, I need some help."

They realise that you don’t have to wait until rock bottom before you make a change.

There’s definitely no benefit letting the Ghost of Christmas Future creep up on you.

Our 3 Core Principles

⭐ Talk honestly about what you truly want as a family

⭐ Work out your finances - Understand how much you need to earn

⭐ Know your options for better work life Balance

Need to talk to someone who won’t pass judgement?

You can book a free call with me here:

Photo Credit: Javier Allegue Barros via Unsplash @soymeraki