Sharing the Load - Gender balance at home

Sharing the load - Gender Balance at home (Guest Podcast)

Gender balance is not just a workplace issue

“A common thread of lock down discussions has been women absorbing a higher proportion of childcare and home-schooling responsibilities than their partners. This has led to increased levels of burnout, stress, anxiety and the ubiquitous COVID19 brain, which has been covered in acres of media coverage.

Gender balance is not just a workplace issue it’s a relationship and domestic issue and both men and women are trapped by limiting gender stereotypes and expectations.”

I joined Dorothy Dalton the CEO of 3 Plus International to discuss how gender equality at work is tied to equality at home. Drawing upon my own experience as stay at home dad and a coach we covered a wide range of topics including

• perfectionism - it's OK to make mistakes and learn from them

• letting go the need for control - nothing bad will happen

• applying workplace project management principles to the home, identifying tasks, creating job descriptions and schedules

• maintaining intimacy and constructive communication

• overcoming boundary issues

• men being a permanent part of the solution rather than being allowed to opt in (helping)  or usually opting out

• creating goals and vision as a couple or even a family

Click Below to find out more

http://3plusinternational.com/2020/08/sharing-the-load-and-keeping-the-peace/

Shared Purpose is the Answer to Your Stress and Worry.

"Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction."

Antoine de Saint-Exupery

It's as relevant now working with stressed and worried dads as it was in 2008 when I stumbled across this quote while looking for inspiration for my speech at our wedding.

Too often I find that men try and forge their own path in life, head down, redoubling their efforts and being "all in."

Communication really matters

A big part of my coaching approach is to encourage men to communicate with themselves - understanding what they truly want and need from life, their values and true calling.

Then to take that knowledge to communicate with those close to them, to build a shared purpose and direction. To understand fully how to ensure that everyone's needs are met. That's the true path to contentment and satisfaction.

A mum at the school gate once quipped (about a man taking a time off).

"Ian will like that, he's all for dads staying at home."

Of course (!) I re-educated her, it's about equality of choice and making it work for individuals and their families.

It's a complicated picture of cultural and financial pressures but without doubt open and honest communication is the bedrock of helping men to be great dads and have great careers

Family Goals

"One of us will always be there for the kids" was our first family goal and underpins everything do we as a couple.

It was true in 2010 when our daughter was born, as it was true last week when I did the school drop off, went into London to deliver a face to face coaching session on behalf The Talent Keeper Specialists and back home for pick up and later on a school concert.

replace Your stress with Shared purpose

It's tough for new dads, feeling the pressure of work and family - trying to be present and not to let anyone down.

This is what you need to do….

1) You need to list out all the things

• You want to “Be”

• You want to “Do”

• You want to “Have”

2) Choose YOUR top 5.

3) Now you need to share this with your partner

• They need go through the same process of listing out their Be, Do, Have.

4) Talk about your lists.

• What is the same?

• What is different?

• How will you achieve it?

Congratulations, this is a massive jump forward in replacing your worries with a shared purpose!

Need to my help to achieve this? Check out my 1 2 1 Coaching