Equality begins at home, but it also begins at school...

Imagine a situation when a primary school needs to contact a parent. A staff member opens the contact management system, searches for the child and is presented with two contact names (in order of priority)

1) the dad
2) the mum

The obvious thing to do is to phone the 1st contact.

Afterall they are listed first.

Too obvious it seems.

Today instead of calling the dad (aka me), the member of staff called the mum (aka my wife).

It wasn't a mistake, it was a choice and a choice that I've seen before and today, like the last time, I later asked for clarity as to why I wasn't called - was there some sort of error in the listing on my daughter's file?

Nope, no error.

I explained that it was important that the school called me first, there’s a reason I’m listed first!

Naturally, I got an apology, they got a gentle reminder about equality.

Turns out I’m not alone in experiencing this type of casual discrimination against dads…

“Yep, I had the school apologise for not having mum's phone number (there isn't one) and calling me.”

“We had the same experience with the Doctors last week. My husband had taken on getting repeat asthma meds for my daughter and the call back came to me despite him leaving his number.”

“Yes, that used to happen to me too. Hubby full time stay at home dad, me full time at work. And they always called me to be asked “have you called my husband?” Stereotypes so embedded.”

My husband took our son for his 8 week jabs as it was my birthday and I had gone for a spa day with a friend.... the nurse asked him where mum was as he walked in the door, then called me to gain consent to immunise our son 🙄 Yes - a complaint went in!

One thing is certain, gender equality is as much about Dads and fatherhood being taken seriously as it is about leaning in and well-paid maternity leave.

If you want someone to speak at your event and explain why supporting dads at work is a route to gender equality then drop me a message.

Picture Credit:Tim Mossholder via Unsplash @timmossholder

Book Review - Dads Don't Babysit, Freed and Millar 2018

click here > my review on Amazon

A couple of weeks ago I discovered a podcast called First Time Dads and heard James Millar, one of the authors of Dads Don’t Babysit.

I loved the discussion so much I went and bought the book. Now I love the book - it’s like reading my own ideas only a lot more coherent (!)

Crucially it seeks to answer the questions - why are fathers sometimes unwilling, but more often unable to share the pleasures of parenting?

#worklifebalance #equallives

How can you improve your Work Life Balance?

Spending time with your family is key to being the type of Dad you want to be.

You want to be there for the moments that matter, because you know you can't buy time with your kids.

Exactly how you achieve the right work life balance for you will depend on the choices and priorities that are important for you and your family.

It'll be different for everyone, but some flexible working is key to unlocking work life balance.

Achieving flexible working has the power to bring significant benefits for all of society, including your employer!  It can allow your partner to return to work and help close the gender pay gap.

You want it and the benefits are clear.

So what gets in the way?

• Fear of being seen as not 'committed'

“Twice the number of fathers compared to mothers believe flexible workers are viewed as less committed… (and) believe working flexibly will have a negative impact on their career”

Source - Working Families 2017

• Outdated assumptions about gender roles in the workplace and at home.

Mothercare, Mumsnet and Daddy Pig all reinforce the stereotype that Dads aren't equally as skilled at looking after their children.

Good news is

Things are changing...

• Men want to be involved - The Modern Families Index 2017 found that, when asked whether they would assess their childcare needs before taking a new job or promotion, 76 per cent of younger fathers said they would. =>Here

• There is general demographic shift towards having children later in life. Senior managers are more likely than their predecessors to be parents of young children, increasing the likelihood that they will promote and encourage flexible working.

Not as fast as it should...

"Workplace policies have not kept up with the social changes in people's everyday lives," according to committee chair Maria Miller, who describes "outdated assumptions" about men's and women's roles in relation to work and childcare" as a further barrier to change.

Source: House of Commons Women and Equalities Committee - Fathers and the workplace

Your action plan

• Understand what type of flexible working you want

• Understand the benefits for all parties.

• Put together a business case

By harnessing the energy and desire of a new generation of dads, we can design a new way of living and working and unlock profound benefits for everyone. 

Need some help?

Bit of a kickstart?