Paternity leave in finance: ‘The more men do it, the less of a big deal it becomes’

Paternity leave in finance: ‘The more men do it, the less of a big deal it becomes’

Make no mistake, it's a pleasure to talk all things Dads and contributing to Emma Jacobs's piece in the Financial Times was no exception.

It's a fascinating read, that uses the words of dads in financial services and law to illustrate both the positive and negative experiences of accessing extended leave and the disconnect that can exist between policy and culture, especially the gatekeeping experience that ‘Adam’ was subjected to.

The world is changing fast, and organisations can’t just rely on ‘dinosaurs’ dying out to get a grip on organisation culture. Gender equality initiatives that focus largely or solely on mother’s experiences and challenges are likely to merely reinforce societal and workplace assumptions about the role of working mums and working dads alike.

As a female, former colleague of my wife once said:

“When I first met Lisa, I didn’t think she had children, because I didn’t think a mum could do this job.”

It’s only when we see that men are as equally likely to seek out and access extended leave as women, that society, the workplace, and families will make meaningful progress towards equality both at home and in the workplace.

The evidence that Emma lays out from businesses with great parental leave policies and a joined-up culture is that men will absolutely take the leave they are offered and that “can make them more committed to an equal workforce.”

But never underestimate the line manager effect, it’s striking how many of the men Emma interviewed cited the support of their managers, matching my own coaching experience and how Adam’s negative experience was framed as being unmanly and that looking after children was his wife’s ‘job’.

My contributions

Ian Dinwiddy, a coach and founder of Inspiring Dads which supports fathers in the workplace, observes a domino effect, as more companies overcome worries about “cost [and having] to cover the leave”, forcing others to compete.

Dinwiddy says ringfenced leave — which is not shared between a couple — encourages fathers to take it. “Because [shared leave] is a choice — men have to opt in and that comes with fear of being seen as uncommitted.” There is also safety in numbers, he says. “If men think other men are going to take it, they will too.”

Further Reading

BBC July 21, “Paternity leave, the hidden barriers keeping men at work.”

“Most cite fears of being discriminated against professionally, missing out on pay rises and promotions, being marginalised or even mocked as reasons for not taking time off.”

The Behavioural Insights Team working with Santander UK found that

‘Simply telling men that their peers support parental leave and flexible working, increases their intention to share care.’ ‘Men thought that roughly 65% of their peers would encourage male colleagues to work flexibly, while in reality 99% would do so.’

Sharing this positive news changed attitudes, defeating the myth that men don’t support each other’s desire to be active and involved fathers.

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