HELPING STRESSED DADS BALANCE WORK AND FATHERHOOD

People Leadership, Working With Us, Database Ian Dinwiddy People Leadership, Working With Us, Database Ian Dinwiddy

The business case evidence for parental leave - massive PR wins.

Well paid, extended parental leave, really matters for gender equality AND it’s a massive PR win

How Parental Leave can be the ultimate PR opportunity.

It's been a busy week in my part of SE London, not least because we managed to get our Party Wall award sorted out before the builders ran out of things to do / smash inside the house. 'Excitingly' (as anyone I've spoken to this week will know lol) we discovered that the base of the foundations on one side of our house are 3m down - creating a literal money pit to pour concrete into! Fortuntately it's the other side from the party wall stuff - the joys of living on a hill!

Building delights aside it's been a really interesting week for Parental Leave announcements (if you are into that sort of thing, which I am.)

Like all good Marvel films, there's a couple of PS footnotes that I hope you'll stay for!

Let's dive into the detail of the offers from Marks and Spencer, Severn Trent Water and Molson Coors. Three very different offers - one is gold standard and at the other end of the scale - looking at my database it's the biggest gap between Paternity and Maternity Leave provision in the UK....

Marks and Spencer are first up.

Click here to join the conversation

"As of 1 April, Marks and Spencer will introduce six weeks of paternity leave at full pay and double its maternity and adoption leave to 26 weeks at full pay, equating to a £5 million investment."

Of course I'm greedy, I want 26 weeks full pay parental leave - treating all parents the same, regardless of how they become parents. But, that said, kudos to M&S for making changes in the right direction - every little helps as they say in some retail circles.

Positive that they describe it as an investment!

Severn Trent then lowered the tone a bit...

Click here to join the conversation

"We're super proud that we've made a big boost to our maternity and adoption leave, giving colleagues a whole year off fully paid, providing one of the leading maternity and adoption policies in the industry, FTSE 100 and UK."

So far so good...

In fact amazing, if you are taking Maternity or Adoption Leave at Severn Trent - They are offering an astounding 46 weeks full pay Maternity and Adoption leave.

But, when the direction of travel is companies equalising parental leave, I’m afraid Severn Trent have inadvertently created what I think it the most unequal parental leave policy in the country, because drumroll...

2 weeks full pay Paternity.

That's it. It's better than 2 week statutory but it's a bad bad thing for gender equality.

At Severn Trent Mums and Adopters take leave, most Dads won't be. I don't know what their Shared Parental Leave offer is but given they don't mention it in the article I'm not expecting much.

More to do for Dads at Severn Trent and I'll watching out for more news

Then boom... welcome to the party, Molson Coors...

Molson Coors

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"Molson Coors Beverage Company has introduced an equal parental leave policy for its more than 2,200 employees across the UK. All new parents at the brewer of beer brands such as Carling, Coors and Madrí Excepcional will be entitled to up to 52 weeks’ leave regardless of gender or their path to parenthood, 26 weeks of which are fully paid."

Make no mistake this is gold standard.

There are approximately 80 companies offering equal parental leave - about 50 of them are offering 26 weeks plus - which gets you entry to this important club.

------

Well paid, extended parental leave, really really matters for gender equality - as is so perfectly illustrated but this comment I saw this week

"... women work part time because taking long periods of parental leave and acting as the primary caregiver, means that their partners go on to win leadership roles and increased salaries."

Unequal parental leave within families AND business is a killer for gender equality at home and work.

Equalised parental leave is a vital foundation for parenting choice, creating equality at home and reframing our gendered associations about care giving. Equality at work is driven by equality at home, knowing my audience you know that's true too.

Happy Friday!

Ian

PS

If your business has great policies but a cultural challenge when it comes to Men taking up the opportunity, then can drop me message, like this firm did this week:

Q. "We've recently switched to a gender neutral parental leave, do you run any in-person/virtual one hour sessions for corporates? We want to encourage as many of our male colleagues to take their full parental leave."

A. This one might be exactly what you need "The Benefits of Extended Parental leave for Fathers and Families."

PPS

I mentioned the PR opportunity. I'm just the messenger and this is what the M&S post stats look like....

Marks and Spencer Post Analytics

Unsplash image by Kelly Sikkema @kellysikkema@kellysikkema

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Career, Balance Ian Dinwiddy Career, Balance Ian Dinwiddy

Flexible working is 'Just as important to men'

Please can we stop framing flexible working as a female "thing." It’s "just as important" for men.

Flexible Working is ‘just as important to men’

An article on the business part of the BBC website caught my eye…

"Senior jobs with flexible hours 'get 20% more female applicants"

First thought, awesome.

Second thought, I wonder if there’s anything about men? Because I know men want flexible working too.

Hidden away (a bit too much for my liking) was reference to men - “just as important for men”

Argggh, come on BBC I thought! This is a really important angle - the angle that would make a world of difference to gender equality to the workplace.

So I opened Linkedin and penned this 1300 character post that has got a lot of comments, interaction and views. Click here to join in the conversation.


POLITE REQUEST

Please can we stop framing flexible working as a female "thing". The world and his dog knows that women have more caring responsibilities, but until we talk about it being a man thing too, we are doomed to pigeon hole genders into cages called caring and breadwinning.

These cages are traps - traps that keep women from achieving their potential in the workplace and men from being the active and involved fathers they don't remember growing up.

We need to release that canary.

BBC Business News article today "Senior jobs with flexible hours 'get 20% more female applicants"

My first thought, well yeah, obviously.

Knowing how hard men find it to ask for flex and part time work - society deem them not to "need" it, fear of being seen as "uncommitted", perceived optionality etc I wondered if there was anything about men.

Yes - the real story -'Just as important to men'

"The study... found many more men also applied for roles when they offered flexible working options, suggesting the issue was "just as important" for them."

This the truly groundbreaking stuff - pre covid!

Men want flexible working and enabling that desire is a key aspect of gender equality at home and at work.

#flexforall #inspiringdads #workingdads


New title, same story?

The eagle eyed among you will have notice the article title is now different. I was also intrigued that the title of the piece changed twice… from

"Senior jobs with flexible hours 'get 20% more female applicants" to

“Flexible working helps with mum guilt' to

“It’s really hard to progress when working part-time”

Thankfully the BBC dropped the “mum guilt” angle quickly <facepalm>

A great story of increased female recruitment into Senior roles

Now despite my little rant, it’s worth noting that it’s a really good story about Zurich creatively increasing female recuitment into senior roles. As John Adams at DadBlogUk explains

“For Zurich to have increased female recruit in senior roles is brilliant. To have increased the number of women working flexibly in senior roles is better still. To have male and female senior managers working flexibly and encouraging other staff to do the same, that’s Zurich’s real success. I hope other employers will follow suit.”

I just wish the man angle had been explored in greater (any) depth.

and I’m not alone as the 100+ comments illustrate

“Totally agree and I thought the same thing when I read the article this morning. The policy is gender neutral so why can't our thinking be the same?”

“Such an important narrative. I also feel until men are encouraged to take flex working and shared parental leave, women will never truly be able to move forward from this feeling of asking for special treatment, feeling conflicted and that their careers may suffer if they move to flex etc. Flex for all is the only way to truly achieve a sense of equality.”

“Totally agree. From my experience coaching men in organisations, it’s much more difficult for them to ask for flexible working than it is for women. And understandably as they’re more likely to be judged as no longer engaged in their careers. Headlines like this do not help.”

Of course we aren’t JUST talking about flexible working for caring reasons. There are lots of reasons why people want flexible working patterns and all are important. I’m very keen on the idea of #Flexforall.

What did Zurich do?

In addition to using gender neutral language, each job advert between March 2019 and Feb 2020 stated the roles were available as:

“Part-time, flexible hours, job share.”

The outcome

  • “Since changing its policy on job adverts, the number of women hired for top roles has risen by 33%”

  • “20% more likely to apply for senior roles if they offer flexible hours.”

In conclusion, great story - but let’s also keep telling all the stories, in particular the one that shines a light on what men want and stops flexible working from being seen a female only desire. Because that doesn’t help anyone!

Click the button to join the conversation on LinkedIn

Photo Credit: Eric Ayon via Unsplash @ericayon10

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Relationships, Balance Ian Dinwiddy Relationships, Balance Ian Dinwiddy

Equality begins at home, but it also begins at school...

True equality comes when we treat dads as equal parents.

Imagine a situation when a primary school needs to contact a parent. A staff member opens the contact management system, searches for the child and is presented with two contact names (in order of priority)

1) the dad
2) the mum

The obvious thing to do is to phone the 1st contact.

Afterall they are listed first.

Too obvious it seems.

Today instead of calling the dad (aka me), the member of staff called the mum (aka my wife).

It wasn't a mistake, it was a choice and a choice that I've seen before and today, like the last time, I later asked for clarity as to why I wasn't called - was there some sort of error in the listing on my daughter's file?

Nope, no error.

I explained that it was important that the school called me first, there’s a reason I’m listed first!

Naturally, I got an apology, they got a gentle reminder about equality.

Turns out I’m not alone in experiencing this type of casual discrimination against dads…

“Yep, I had the school apologise for not having mum's phone number (there isn't one) and calling me.”

“We had the same experience with the Doctors last week. My husband had taken on getting repeat asthma meds for my daughter and the call back came to me despite him leaving his number.”

“Yes, that used to happen to me too. Hubby full time stay at home dad, me full time at work. And they always called me to be asked “have you called my husband?” Stereotypes so embedded.”

My husband took our son for his 8 week jabs as it was my birthday and I had gone for a spa day with a friend.... the nurse asked him where mum was as he walked in the door, then called me to gain consent to immunise our son 🙄 Yes - a complaint went in!

One thing is certain, gender equality is as much about Dads and fatherhood being taken seriously as it is about leaning in and well-paid maternity leave.

If you want someone to speak at your event and explain why supporting dads at work is a route to gender equality then drop me a message.

Picture Credit:Tim Mossholder via Unsplash @timmossholder

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Career, Mental Health, Balance Ian Dinwiddy Career, Mental Health, Balance Ian Dinwiddy

How Can You get the help and support you need?

Every journey begins with a single step and fixing your work life balance is no exception

I received this message via LinkedIn last week. 

"I've been following with interest your Inspiring Dads work. It has been niggling me for a long time now, and I find myself working away from home in a sadly average job and then feeling like a bit of a spare part at the weekend. I am monumentally unable to discuss any of this with anyone and, quite simply, I need some help." 

To massacre a famous quote "every journey begins with a single step" and I know it takes courage and determination to reach out to someone for help.

Early interventions in the form of coaching, mentoring and dad to dad community initiatives have the power to transform the experience of working dads and that can only be a good thing for everyone.

But it can be hard to take that first step. in the video below the Music Football Fatherhood team discuss mental health in another of their #Daddydebates.

It's a valuable 20 mins discussion about the need for dads to access support but also the barriers to engaging with mental health and well being support.

It's well worth a watch.

"Am I happy, do I feel good? That's always got to be the priority." In our most honest & vulnerable conversation yet, we talk therapy & mental health for men...

It's always a pleasure to know the impact you have had on your client's lives... 

I've been going back through my testimonials and sifting for gold and this nugget from Dan stuck me as important. 

"the way I approach many aspects in my work life" 

Coaching is never just about the desired outcome. Dan wanted a new job and we worked together to achieve that goal, but the impact of coaching went beyond that into broader behavioural change, the type of change that stays with you long after the new job honeymoon is over. 

You can read what he said below:

Dan Testimonial.jpg

Whether you need help with work life balance, getting a new job or just understanding how best to focus your energy and drive then I can help you.

Find out more about my 1 to 1 coaching options click here:

https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/private-1-2-1-coaching

You can book a free call too. In fact i don't let anyone sign up without a chat first.

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Career, Inspiration, Balance Ian Dinwiddy Career, Inspiration, Balance Ian Dinwiddy

"30 mins later than planned"

What little steps could you make to improve your work life balance?

"30 minutes later than planned"

>> Link here to the original post

That was all it took for this Dad to look after his 4 year daughter's needs and to set himself up for the day.

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Now I know that 30 mins late is a problem in lots of roles, but not in all roles.

I vividly remember working on a consultancy improvement project when I discovered 18 people had been standing around doing nothing for 2 hours.

Turned out the oven operator at their biscuit factory decided the union agreement meant he could choose to come in late if he wanted.

He couldn't but it was an education for me hearing the operator and the rep seek to justify it…

He was 3 hours late, the oven wasn't lit on time but the company were burning money.

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What little steps are in your control and could improve your work life balance?

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Ian Dinwiddy, Founder

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