Do You Have the Illusion of a fulfilled Life?

Yesterday I read a Harvard Business Review article called

"What's really holding women back"

The article explores the work / family 'narrative' in an unnamed global consultancy firm.

I really recommend it, it’s a pretty big read, but it’s a really well written and explores the impact of work place stereotypes in the working world.

Key takeaways for me.. (pay attention at the back..)

⭐ Distress over work / family conflict was primarily attributed to women, but the authors found that many men were suffering too.

"Two-thirds of the associates we talked to who were fathers reported work / family conflict, but only one was taking measures to ease it."

(by measures they mean things like flexible or reduced hours and working from home)

⭐ Many more women took measures to improve work life balance, they were stigmatised and saw their careers derailed.

⭐ The route cause was a long-hours problem

⭐ Business "social defense" mechanisms included a "belief in women’s natural fitness for family, and in men’s for work."

Dads defence mechanisms against guilt

Working dads were suffering guilt, while as a defence against how they felt, they were denying or deflecting their natural emotional responses to fatherhood. This "psychological defense gave many men at the firm the illusion of a fulfilled life."

The "illusion of a fulfilled life" caught my eye...

ouch.

So dads in that study were risking their mental health by creating psychological defenses that allowed them to remain "all in" for work. 

While women were positioned to be seen as "subpar performers or subpar mothers—or both"

Double ouch.

Supporting men to tap into, rather than, suppress their desire to be active, involved parents is vital for everyone.

Feeling a bit uncomfortable about that article?

Here's something you can do about it.

✔ You can take my short "Assess your work life balance" test.

It will help you get clear about your reality, how it affects you and your family and get some tips on what to do next.

​Stay safe

Ian